December 13

Isaiah 30:19-26, Hope

By Alisa Carr

The truth that grabs me today is this:  “…yet your Teacher will not hide himself any more, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.”   It is so profound to look back on that time when “the way” was made known, the path revealed more sharply, with the perspective I now have, seeing just how many and how often Teachers have come to me. It is they who revealed themselves, crossing my path at the exact right time, who allowed me to trust, who gave me hope through the dark periods along the way, when the path of life hit rocky, steep, or challenging terrain…“the bread of adversity and the waters of affliction.”  In my life that has looked like many things:  struggling with being single; at times, wondering if I would be able to pay my bills; feeling helpless to be as present as I would like to be with my family; frustration and disillusionment with my profession – often feeling alone.  Yet, all the while being connected to that sense of mission and purpose affirmed years ago – that I will be an agent of change, healing, transformation, and consciousness.

The Teacher has taken on many forms as I have walked along.  The person who tells me about a conference on dreams that I attend.  The books I read that spark interest in people and places, leading to connections, activities, travel.  The Spiritual Directors who have walked with me.  The friends and colleagues who have been available for open and vulnerable conversations.  A particular author who articulates deep truths that have been bubbling up within me.  The Healers who emanate love and wisdom as they hold space for, and guide me through my own awakening.  For me, these Teachers have been primarily women — yet your Teacher will not hide herself any more.

My Teacher has also shown up in the people and situations I have found the most difficult.  When judgment, irritation, or hurt rise up in response to them, I have learned to recognize an open door into unknown, challenging, or wounded places within myself.  She has also revealed herself in the people who I admire and lift up, who inspire me.  I become a student of my “shadow,” both the light and the dark, growing in consciousness.  And I cannot fail to mention that other deep source of wisdom, constantly teaching and guiding – my dreams. Yet your Teacher will not hide him/herself any more, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.

Throughout my almost 50 years, I have experienced relationship with Jesus in many forms – Lord, Friend, Comforter, Lover, Big Brother.  At this time in my life, I recognize him most as Teacher.  He has at once been present in all these people and situations that have taught me; and alive in the depths of my Being, partnering with me as “Rabbouni!” (Jn 20:16b)  It is on this truth that I place my hope and trust.

 

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